The Meaning of Love...

The Meaning of Love...
Originally uploaded by Colors of My Dreams

So I paid the deposit for the ASOS course. It's going to happen. My plan is to blog it here. At the moment I feel confused and lonely - not quite sure what is happening, what I am letting myself in for and if I am being a fool. I also feel as if after quite a difficult time, my life is comfortable and then today I drew the tower...I haven't had that since Dad died. Is my life going to turn upside down again? Am I going to lose everything and everyone again? The only thing I can hang onto is Jason's saying we "will be exploring this wonderful and mysterious life and learning how to be a healing presence for ourselves and others in this suffering world". Amen to that!

Energy

Dawn Rip-Wave, Atlantic Ocean
Originally uploaded by bovinacowboy

This is what I am lacking...this is what I need right now. So it's a quest to find it. I am going to check all of my activities. Do they give me more energy or less? Trevor has said more food, less sugar, less alcohol. I am also going to walk to work. But what of writing? Does that give me energy? And going out for coffee? And reading? Maybe I need to create a scale. I'm starting right now...

Coming out of the darkness

coming out of the darkness
Originally uploaded by Davydov

It has been a heavy old few days with fingers and illness and too much work. Think I am coming out now though. Maybe the thing is that you just can't write too much when it is dark. You just can't see the pen or the paper. Sometimes, maybe, the only thing to do is lie down and wait until it gets light again. Funny, it always seems to do that!

Fingers...

Rough days
Originally uploaded by bayat

Weird one on Saturday. I went downstairs to make pancakes for the naughty knickers girls and put my hand into the blender. Luckily it wasn't quite as bad as it sounds - my left hand was a bit cut up but it seems fine now. Can't quite figure out the connection between growing my hands and then injuring them. It was a bit weird actually because I got up that morning thinking great, I am finally well again and really looking forward to the weekend and then spent the day lying on the floor trying not to pass out. Anyhow I can type again with two hands which is great - part of me is just very very relieved it wasn't worse. I think life for a writer with only one hand would be tricky...